We Believe In Us
Relationships are hard…but they don’t have to be. There’s a reason why more and more people are choosing to partake in premarital counseling these days. It’s to solidify a relationship, build a strong foundation, and reduce the divorce rate.
I believe in you.
When you love someone, you work to make sure that the relationship works. A perfect relationship isn’t perfect…it’s just that both people never gave up.
At Sherman Pole Buildings, we believe in making things work. We’ve teamed up with a marriage and family counselor to offer some tips on how to build a strong relationship – and ensure that your significant other and your family are at the center of your world.
9 Tips for Believing in Your Relationship
In the famous words of Dr. Seuss, “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
You’re in love…but now what? This is when things can get hard. You want to hold onto the love for as long as possible.
#1: Make the Promise to Date
Dating is something that you have to do. Make time, whether it is weekly or monthly.
It doesn’t matter where you live. Go bowling in Wisconsin. Go boating in Minnesota. Go tubing in Texas.
By taking the time to date, you remember why you fell in love. It’s a chance to forget about everything else that’s going on in your life. Often, troubled water is ahead when people stop dating their significant others.
#2: Surround Yourself with Likeminded Friends
There are good friends and there are toxic friends. Unfortunately, toxic friends have to be cut out of your life. They may rain on your parade by filling your head with doubt and insecurities. If they’re miserable, they want everyone else in their lives to be miserable, too.
It’s better to surround yourself with like-minded friends. Choose to spend time with people who have unbreakable bonds. Choose friends who have similar values and outlooks on life.
When you’re with other happy couples, you’ll find that you work to be happy with your partner, too.
#3: Maintain Open Communication
Communication lines need to be open at all times. Often, we all work so much that we end up not talking about what really matters. If you don’t have the time to talk face to face, be sure that you find other ways to communicate. This can be done with text messages, emails, and even post-it notes scattered throughout the house.
Talk about anything and everything that is on your mind. Ensure that you’re on the same page as one another so that you’re less likely to encounter disagreements.
Remember that your significant other doesn’t know what’s bothering you unless you tell them. Be specific about something so that you take the guesswork out of it. Express yourself constructively so that things don’t get out of hand.
Just as you need to speak, you also need to listen. Don’t be defensive. Instead, listen and summarize to ensure that you’re understanding all that’s being said.
#4: Prioritize Intimacy
Okay, okay, yes, we’re giving you this advice. Even though things may be going great now, they may not always be. Intimacy is what will keep your marriage thriving. Otherwise, you may end up becoming more routine. You’ll feel like you’re living with a roommate instead of a significant other.
If you really want to maintain intimacy, create a date night. Or, create a special place. A loft inside of a pole barn can be romantic. Just add blankets. You can look out the window to see the stars in the Texas or Minnesota sky. Then, just let the rest sort of happen.
#5: Work Together Instead of Against Each Other
Too many couples feel as though they need to compete against each other. It should be you and your significant other versus the world…not you versus your significant other.
When the two of you tackle problems together, they’ll seem easier to handle. You’ll split the stress instead of taking it all on yourself. Plus, you’ll find that problems don’t come around as often when you have a partner instead of a foe.
#6: Embrace the Love Languages
It’s important to know what “love language” your significant other speaks. Familiarize yourself with the love language of other family members, too.
There are five love languages:
- Words of affirmation, such as ‘I believe in you.’
- Acts of service
- Quality time
If your significant other would rather hear “I believe in you” and you’re saying that by cooking dinner every time, there’s going to be a disconnect. There are quizzes that you can take online to help you identify your love language as well as that of your significant other. Take the time to discuss your needs and wants so that the two of you understand how to speak to each other.
Once you learn the language of those you love most, you can interact with them in a way that lets them know you really do love them.
#7: Walk Down Memory Lane
It’s important to reminisce from time to time. Can’t take a vacation right now? Talk about the best vacation that you did take. Why was it special?
All sorts of walks down memory lane are acceptable. Break out the scrapbooks or even watch some of the old home movies you have stored in your TV cabinet.
When you embrace the memories, it allows you to remember so many good things that have gone on within your relationships. It can also make it easier for you to move forward with hope and confidence knowing that you can continue to create amazing memories.
Remember that a walk down memory lane should be between the two of you…and kids if you have them. This is not a time to bring up bits and pieces of each other’s past. Keep that where it belongs…in the past.
#8: Learn to Fight
Wait, what? Yes, there is actually a right way to fight with your spouse. When you can embrace conflicts and manage them, you’ll find that fights aren’t continuously appearing within your relationship.
There are a few things to remember when you’re fighting:
- Let the little things go
- Agree to disagree
Don’t lash out and don’t lose your cool. As soon as things get ugly with name-calling, you get into the kind of territory that is harder to recover. If you feel as though the fight is getting out of hand, push the pause button so that you can both cool down.
Once the fight is over, talk about what happened. Figure out why you fought and agree that the issue has been settled so that you can successfully move on.
#9: Be Honest
It has been said that a true friendship is one where everything can be told and nothing will be judged. You should consider your significant other to be your best friend. The bond that the two of you have is forged not only in love but in the bonds of friendship.
By being honest with one another, you can tell each other everything. You can work through issues as opposed to letting them fester. Spilling secrets can be therapeutic. More importantly, you need to make the continuous promise not to judge one another based on what is said. Choose to work out anything that is said rather than fighting about it.
When there is complete honesty, there’s never the stress of keeping things hidden or bottled up.
Make Things Work by Building a Legacy
Why do we care about making things work? What kind of pole barn manufacturer would we be if we enjoyed watching things fall apart?
We’re not just focused on craftmanship. We’re also focused on building a legacy. You can fall in love in front of our pole barn, whether it be in Wisconsin, Minnesota, or Texas. And, then, you can watch your kids take their first fall in front of it. You can let your grandkids explore the contents of your pole barn, too. It will be the backdrop to your entire life.
I believe in you. Do you believe in you?
We want to be a part of your memories and your legacy. In order to do that, you need to remember that the secret of having it all is believing you already do. Let us introduce you to our pole barns so you can start building the foundation to something beyond the relationships in your life.