Prepare To Encounter the Holy Grill
I’m what America loves to eat. I’m red, a bit fatty, and I’ve got a chunk of marrow running up my spine. That’s right, I’m a juicy steak. The problem is that there are too many darn people out there who just don’t know how to grill me.
In Texas, people like to smoke me. In Minnesota, people like to choke me with charcoal briquettes. I’ve got my patience, but it’s starting to run thin. I mean, come on! Doesn’t anyone respect the rules of a BBQ anymore?
I can’t be left raw and it’s a crime to overcook me. I’ve got beautiful marbling, and the only way that I’m going to be delicious is if people learn to throw me on the grill properly.
I’ve already seen my kin be disrespected by grills of every variety. I have even watched a cousin die an ugly death under a mountain of A-1 sauce in Wisconsin. It was so horrifying that I cried under my shrink wrap for days.
Let’s be real for a moment. Everyone has “their” way of using a grill and cooking up a steak. But, I get to be the final judge because it’s me that you’re going to toss on the grill. And I’m not going on just any grill. I’m looking for the holy grill. Only then will I accept my fate as someone’s decadent dinner.
A Quick Look at the Different Grills
I’m not okay with about half of the grills on the market. Let’s just get that out there right now. I feel that it’s important to really look at the grills before I give my opinion on them. After all, it’s me being grilled up, so I get a say in the matter.
Charcoal grills are some of the cheapest and easiest grills to operate. If you’re going to grill with this kind of equipment, your briquette game has to be strong. You’ll need to pay attention to what you buy as there are a lot of varieties on the market. Otherwise, your food may end up tasting like lighter fluid. However, if you do it right, you can get a rich, smoky flavor to the food.
I’m okay with charcoal grills. They can provide a nice sear. And, there’s a vent on the grill that allows for the temperature to stabilize. This way, I’m cooked nicely throughout. There’s nothing worse than being cooked to death on the outside while still being raw in the center. That’s not how I want to be treated.
Perhaps the biggest con with a charcoal grill is that they’re a challenge to clean. When they’re not cleaned properly, they can cause a burnt smell.
Many people who have a grill have a propane tank. This means that they’re cooking with gas. Whether you use direct or indirect heat, the benefit is that the temperature is reached quickly. Everyone is in a rush to eat, so they’ll fire up the propane grill and toss me on. Some won’t even bother to season me because they’re so quick to cook me. It’s rude and disrespectful.
Of course, when it comes to gas, there’s also natural gas. Whether you’re using that or a tank, it’s still gas in the end. Sure, it gets really hot. However, you’re never going to get a true woody flavor because there’s no wood in your grill.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Propane grills make the food taste like gas. Who wants a mouthful of that? I can honestly say that you can throw me in the trash if that’s the way that you plan to treat your meat.
Pellet grills have been around for a while, but brands like Traeger and Pit Boss have done a lot of advertising recently. We’re partial to Camp Chef pellet grills. They’ve gained a lot of popularity because they’re the hybrid of a smoker and a grill. The food-quality wood pellets also add a significant amount of flavor. They are the holy grill.
Many pellet grills have emerged with a significant amount of technology, too. This includes Wi-Fi to be able to keep track of the temperature, the cooking time, and even the cooldown process. They’re fancy, and I have to say, I’m definitely about that life.
For the record, pellet grills are the best. They’re the holy grill. They turn me a little bit smoky. I come out with a nice, woody finish. Most of all, I don’t smell like gas. And, if you season me right, I am fricking delicious.
I’ve seen family members go out on pellet grills and I am legitimately jealous. Do me a favor…if you’re going to buy a premium steak like me, be sure that you cook me on a high-end pellet grill. The brand doesn’t matter but the pellets do, got it?
Every now and then, someone says that they have a grill. Yet, there’s nothing outside. They bring me inside and leave me inside. Wait, what? Oh, that’s because they think that they have a grill. They plug it into the wall and spray it down with nonstick spray. Then, they toss me on a griddle.
Do you hear that? A griddle.
You cannot call a griddle a grill. It’s electric, and it’s just not the same. I refuse to go like that. If it’s not freestanding and outside, I don’t want to be cooked on that. Save that for ground beef because even sirloin steaks are more self-respecting than that.
To Sauce or Not to Sauce
I’m not saying that sauce is a sin. In fact, I’ve had plenty of delicious BBQ sauces slathered on me in my day. It’s got to be good. And homemade is always going to add that extra touch.
You’ve been to meat church, right? Oh, my. I’ve dreamed of being rubbed down with some of those meat rubs. And if you think that a rub is only for pork butts, you’ve got another thing coming. I promise you that us beefy steaks want that kind of treatment, too. Rub me down, flip me over, and repeat. Then, toss me into a fire and watch what I can become.
Texas is home to the meat church. I promise that if you don’t know the first thing about grilling, you can’t practice on me. I simply won’t have it. Instead, get your training on a few sirloins. They don’t care. They’re amateurs in the meat game. Make your mistakes on them. Then, when you’ve mastered the sear and learned how to take your flavor game to the next level, give me a call. That’s when I’ll prance out in all of my marbled goodness and lie down on the grates of your pellet grill.
Baptized By BBQ Sauce
Then, if you want more juiciness than I can supply on my own, I’ll allow for some sauce. If you’re planning on making your own, I’ll give you some ingredients that are worthy of a good sauce:
- Apple cider vinegar
- Liquid smoke
- Brown sugar
- Honey or molasses
I don’t care whether you’re from Wisconsin, Minnesota, or anywhere in the Deep South. You have to rely on good BBQ recipes to optimize the holy grill. If you use store-bought sauce, you’re going to ruin me. And that’s when I have the right to haunt you with an upset stomach for the rest of the night. I deserve to be savored, so pay attention to what’s in your sauce. Source local ingredients.
If you’re adamant about not making your own sauce, at least hit a local farmer’s market. They’ll make sure that I’m not a ruined hunk of meat on your dinner plate.
Care About Your Grill
I’ve seen some scary-looking grills in my time. I’d rather die a slow death of freezer burn than be thrown on some of the grills that I’ve seen.
Grills can rust. Do you hear me? Rust is not a pretty thing, and it can taint the entire cooking process. With enough rust, it can make it difficult to get the low and slow BBQ process going because the heat will be escaping out of the rusted lid.
If the grates are rusted, I’m going to taste like rust, too. Eww. I am too stinking delicious to be tasting like rust. Don’t do that to me!
A bit of protection on your grill goes a long way. Whether you invest in a pellet grill or you go with one of the subpar grill choices I’ve talked about, it has to be kept out of the elements. The serious BBQ chefs use a pole barn to protect their cooking units.
This is the dream. Every steak wants to know that it’s going to be seasoned, cooked, and enjoyed by a BBQ aficionado.
I lay in my Styrofoam tray at night thinking about how I can be sprinkled with some garlic powder, tossed in a pellet grill, and grilled to a beautiful medium-rare. That grill will be in pristine condition because it sits inside of a fancy pole barn. The chef may even refer to it as his meat church because it has all the features of an outdoor kitchen. He’ll have a prep counter, a spice rack, and some high-end knives that can be used to slice me once I land on the plate.
If I’m going to be someone’s dinner, I want the holy grill.
The Holy Grill
Prepare yourself. The steps are simple:
- Learn a decent BBQ sauce that you can be proud of.
- Invest in a pellet grill (anything else is simply unacceptable).
- Store your grill inside of a pole barn.
Sherman Pole Buildings has been helping people to up their grilling game for years by ensuring they have a stunning, secure pole barn for all of their grilling needs. I’ve heard the tales being told from Wisconsin to Texas and everywhere in between. Serious outdoorsmen use pellet grills. They know that steel buildings can offer the storage that’s needed not only for their grills but for everything else that goes with a good time.
If you want to enjoy a good steak dinner, I stand up as tribute. But, if you’re going to have me for dinner, the least that you can do is ensure that I’m cooked to the highest of standards. If you make me taste like gas, neither one of us is going to be happy.
Until you’re ready to start cooking up the best steaks in town, you can start building the pole barn that will best suit your needs. At Sherman Pole Buildings, you can build everything to your specifications. The craftsmanship is top-notch, and you can have the size that you need. Make it storage for your grill or make it large enough that it can accommodate 20 of your closest steak-eating friends for the man cave of your dreams.