Awkward situations happen all the time. I know this because my friends and I share the constant awkwardness we are thrust into. We drink water wrong and end up in a coughing fit. We say random, weird phrases to people when we are out in public. And we wave to people who we thought were waving at us.
I’ve lost count of how many awkward situations I’ve encountered in Sherman Country. The only thing I can really do is laugh it off. I could promise that it would never happen again, but that would be a lie.
Awkward Kiss
Now, there’s one situation that is more awkward than all the rest – the double-cheeked kiss.
If you’ve grown up in Minnesota, Wisconsin, or Kansas, you’re used to people greeting you with a wave, a handshake, a “How’s by you” or even a hug. It’s why we’re usually caught off-guard when someone comes in for the double-cheeked kiss.
It’s usually something you see in movies or when visiting Europe. A person comes in, kisses one cheek, and then kisses the other cheek. It can be used as a greeting, a farewell, or for celebratory purposes.
Now, when you see someone coming in close with their lips puckered, your first instinct may be to pucker back. Next thing you know, you’ve kissed a person on the lips when all they meant to do was kiss your cheek.
And in some instances, it wasn’t meant to be a kiss at all. They were just going to touch your cheek with their cheek. But now, you’ve landed a wet one on them, and the awkwardness is immediate.
Knowing how to deal with awkward situations can make it easier to navigate life. And I’ll give you a few tips along the way, too.
Awkward is My Specialty
If there’s going to be an awkward situation, I’ll find it. I’ll be the damn star of the situation. My tongue gets tied, my palms get sweaty, and my social anxiety hits an all-time high. At that point, I don’t even know what my mouth is capable of saying. I won’t realize just how ridiculous it is until after it comes out of my mouth and people stare at my comment.
After kissing a girl on her sofa she said, “let’s take this upstairs.” “Ok” I said, “ You grab one end and I’ll grab the other.”
Of course, controlling the awkwardness is a life-long goal. Notice how I said goal. It’s not something I’ve mastered yet. I practice regularly, though. Thinking about what I want to say helps. And being more social can make a difference, too.
Still, I’m usually the one who tries to have a witty comeback and fails miserably. And if you ever see me out and about, I’ll be the one waving. No one’s waving at me, mind you, but I wave nonetheless. It’s like a beacon of my awkwardness so strangers know not to get too close.
I Came. I Saw. I Made It Awkward.
I don’t need to flirt. I will seduce you with my awkwardness. Especially if you come in for a double-cheeked kiss. I’ll most likely screw that up, but it won’t be cute like what you see in the rom-coms.
I’m always hoping someone will think it’s cute when I blurt out entire sentences that make no sense.
Really, I’m just waiting for someone else to make a similar comment of awkwardness in response. That’s when I know I’ve found true love. Just think. We can be weird and awkward together for a lifetime. We can build a pole barn in Sherman Country and grow old together. That’s the dream, anyway.
Until then, I hide in my own pole barn where I don’t have to deal with society. I come out of hiding every so often to wave and have verbal diarrhea. Then, I roll my eyes and silently curse myself for my inability to communicate without making an arse of myself.
Do Something Good, No One Sees It…Do Something Embarrassing…
When you do something embarrassing, everyone will see it. And those close to you may remember it. They’ll randomly bring it up at parties just to see how red they can turn your face. Those are true friends, but it doesn’t make it any easier to live down your most embarrassing moments.
You’ll always remember your first kiss, so you should probably make sure it’s with someone you know. And care for. If you end up kissing your boss from the German office because they were coming in for a double-cheeked kiss, it’s going to make for some awkward stories. Sure, you’ll remember the kiss forever. But is that really a good thing?
At Sherman Pole Buildings, we’re focused on doing. Good, bad, embarrassing, we are always doing something. Usually, we focus on making memories. And to make the best memories, you need to have a place to do them. If you don’t have a pole barn on your property yet, you’re missing out.
Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party
Did you know that a customized pole barn can be turned into anything you want it to be? Make it a barn, an ag building, a microbrewery, a storage facility for your classic cars, a bed & breakfast, or even a man cave.
At Sherman, we’ll work with you every step of the way to be sure you get what you want. And if you happen to have a few awkward moments while you explain the details, don’t worry about it. We’re likely to have the occasional verbal incontinence, too.
As Don Rickles once said, “Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.”
Give us a call to discuss your pole barn project. We can discuss it over the phone, in person, or via email. Whatever mode of communication allows you to discuss without being overly awkward is the mode that we’ll go with.
Once you have a place of your own, you can be as awkward as you want. No one will judge you.
