Autocorrect has gotten me into trouble more times than I’d like to admit. I’ve sent inappropriate texts to my boss, hurt my mom’s feelings, and had my kids question my extracurricular activities.
I’d also like to address Siri directly for a moment:
Hey, autocorrect, it was never duck.
What do we want? An end to autocorrect errors! When do we want it? COW!!!
We all know that autocorrect will get us into trouble no matter who we’re sending the message to. It has also found itself in more and more aspects of our lives thanks to “artificial intelligence.” It used to just be text messaging that we had to worry about the errors of autocorrect. Now, our emails, word documents, and social media platforms are trying to think for us, too.
We may end up telling the entire world that “May he rust in Paris.” It doesn’t really have the same ring to it when someone dies, does it?
Overcome the Autocorrect
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, “What’ll ya have?” The rabbit replies, “I dunno… I’m just here because of autocorrect.”
We’ve all received a text or an email that was the result of autocorrect. Technology thinks that it’s smarter than us. It assumes that it knows what we want to say. Instead, it turns us all into psychopaths at some point or another.
I really need to stop blaming autocorrect and face the fact that I can’t spill.
We have to be smarter than autocorrect, which sounds harder than it has to be. Here’s the harsh reality that no one wants to realize: the machines correct our text BEFORE we hit send. That means that we have to take an extra second out of our day to review what the text says before we send something out into the world.
I know, I know. We don’t have an extra second. We live in a world of instant gratification. We want things now. We don’t want to wait an extra second for anything.
However, that second could be the difference between sounding professional and coming across as a bumbling idiot.
My phone autocorrected “killed” to “kilt”… Well plaid, phone… Well plaid.
Notice that when we erect a billboard in Minnesota, Kansas, or Wisconsin, we don’t have typos on it. That’s because we paid attention, spent a few extra seconds on the messaging, and advertised with intent.
When we say quality erections, we mean quality erections.
There’s no telling what our billboards could have said if we didn’t bother to take those extra seconds.
Qualified erections. Quality elections. We could go on…
Since we’re not urologists and we’re not in politics, neither of those autocorrect scenarios would work for us.
By the way, how did bad jokes become dad jokes? Autocorrect.
Don’t Blame the Computer, Blame Yourself
Ultimately, you have to place blame where it is due. You are the one responsible for the bad autocorrecting because you didn’t bother to read it over before you hit send.
It’s not just typos that can get you into trouble. As more and more schools across Sherman Country and beyond fail to teach cursive, we see society making it up as they go along.
People cannot write in cursive so that it is legible. Additionally, people can’t read it when it is written legibly.
That means that we end up with graduation and congratulatory cards that read, “You are capable of amazing thongs.” Yikes. Maybe we should all make the solemn promise that we’ll print our words instead of even bothering with cursive.
Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
Everything that we say, we have to mean. We can’t hide behind autocorrect and tell people, “That’s not what I meant to say.” It makes us look unprofessional and foolish.
We have to be accountable. We also have to communicate in a wholehearted way. Go ahead and commit to what you want to tell people.
Take those extra few seconds to make sure that the intent is clear. Then (and only then) should you hit send.
We have to learn to stop blaming the computer or other people for our mistakes.
Turned off autocorrect and I’ve never been happyer.
Often, it comes down to stress. There’s so much going on in our lives that we’re constantly stressed. When something doesn’t go our way, our first emotion is anger. Before we know it, our index finger is rising into the air and pointing at anyone or anything so that we can play the blame game.
I didn’t call you an idiot. My computer called you an idiot. I meant to call you an intellect.
I didn’t curse at you. I literally saw a duck and wanted to share that little tidbit with you.
Perhaps we need to learn to relax.
Throughout Sherman Country, there are plenty of ways to de-stress.
- Spend time with family and friends
- Head to a microbrewery for a pint
- Grab some fishing poles and head to the pond
- Take a hike on one of the many trails
- Relax inside your man cave
Want to know how it’s easier to enjoy those different things? You guessed it, with a pole barn. You see, when you have a pole building, you can create a man cave. You can also have the storage you need for the toys that will allow you to relieve your stress on a regular basis.
When you’re less stressed, it’s easier to say what you mean and mean what you say.
If there are typos, you have to own them. You can’t blame autocorrect, no matter how annoying those slip-ups are.
Anyway, I’m hoping I’ve made it through this blog without embarrassing myself or accidentally flirting with you. While I’m all for telling you about our quality erections at Sherman Pole Buildings, I want to make it crystal clear that I’m talking about pole barns.
If autocorrect changes something between me typing this and it getting published to the web, well, I hope that you can forgive me. Unless it made you laugh. At that point, you absolutely have to call to find out more about our pole barns. After all, we know how to make people laugh more than anyone else in Sherman Country. You HAVE seen our billboards, haven’t you?