Growing up in the 1980s and ’90s meant embracing corny jokes. Of course, when we were saying them, they weren’t corny. They were a way of being cool.
Sure, Tag Team sang about “Whoomp, There It Is.” However, being the slick kids that we were, we turned it into a response to anything. Someone had a great comeback, and suddenly, we were laughing and saying, “Whoomp! There it is.”
We were hilarious.
Unfortunately, this new generation thinks we’re lame. They don’t understand that we are the epitome of funny, or punny, as it were.
I don’t always rock the rhyme that’s right on time, but when I do its TRICKY.
It’s also why someone will say something a bit crude, and our comment is, “That’s what she said.” Of course, at Sherman, we can’t help but talk about our quality erections, which is why we have changed it up a bit to say, “That’s what she shed.”
Like I said, we’re hilarious.
I Miss You Like an Idiot Misses the Point
There are always the idiots of the world. You say something to them, and it goes soaring over their head. Then, you’re left wondering if you should actually explain it to them or just walk away in hopes that someone else explains it to them.
If you have to explain something to the idiot, all is lost. It’s no longer funny. And you’re frustrated because a good joke was told without an acceptable laugh.
Sometimes, the only thing idiots are good for is entertainment. Not to their face, obviously. But it’s why people-watching is so exciting. Everyone will tell you that they’ll sit at the mall or a coffee shop or a busy convention to people-watch. The unspoken aspect of that is to nod nonchalantly to your friend about the people who are complete and utter idiots.
Why did the old man fall in the well? He couldn’t see that well.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.
If you’ve ever told a joke only for the person to look at you confused or, worse yet, say, “I don’t get it,” we understand you. It’s frustrating. The only thing you can do is move on. Well, that and find yourself some more intelligent people to hang out with.
You’re My Favorite Bitch to Bitch About Bitches With
Finding intelligent people to spend time with in Sherman Country is important. Not only will it lend to more interesting conversations, but it will provide you with someone to bitch about bitches with.
Bitches need to be bitched about. There are the ones you encounter on your drive home through Sherman Country, there are the ones at work, and there are the ones you run into at a restaurant, in the grocery store, and elsewhere.
For example, anyone who has to think about what they want at McDonalds is clearly worthy of being bitched about. After all, McDonalds has had the same menu for decades. If you don’t know what you want, you shouldn’t even be out in society.
Then there are those situations that you find yourself in that need to be bitched about.
I don’t know why everyone keeps saying they’re trying to bring sexy back? I’m right here. I never even left.
I’m at the “What can I make with green beans and cake mix?” stage of needing groceries.
While I could just go to the grocery store and buy more groceries, it’s much more entertaining to call up my bestie and bitch about my lack of ingredients in the pantry. They can entertain me with what’s in their pantry or even try to tell me of a cool (albeit disgusting) recipe that I could whip up using the remaining items I have.
And when I inevitably say something corny, my friend should be waiting with one of two responses that are considered socially acceptable: “Whoomp, There it is!” or “That’s what she shed.” And then we’ll laugh like maniacs for two minutes until we decide to bitch about the next thing happening in our lives.
shake it like a polaroid picture
I’m Just Here to Stir the Pot
Being the one with the most wit in a social circle comes with the intense responsibility of stirring the pot. Someone approaches your friend circle at a bar with a stupid question, and everyone turns to you for the response. That’s when you know you’re the pot stirrer.
I don’t always drink beer. Just kidding, of course, I do.
Drinking beer builds character. The more I drink, the punnier I become. I’m also more likely to stir the pot after a few beers, which is when things get really interesting at my local pub.
Every now and again, I open my big mouth to the wrong person. For some reason, there are times when people don’t appreciate my brand of humor. They say hurtful things like “You’re a smartass” or “You’re going to regret this in the morning.”
Jokes on them. When people tell me that I’m going to regret that in the morning, I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver.
Speaking Of Problem-Solving
Speaking of problem-solving, there may be one problem you encounter over and over again: a lack of space. It may be that you need a bigger home for your family, or a storage shed for your toys, or a place to go get away from the family because they don’t like your puns or your pot-stirring friends, or even a place to have for your business or industrial needs.
That’s where a Sherman pole barn comes in. While we can tell jokes and puns with the best of them, there’s one thing we don’t joke around about, and that’s steel buildings built with the ultimate level of craftsmanship. It’s why we are proud to boast about our quality erections.
At Sherman, we have been building pole barns of all sizes for over 40 years. So, while we often bitch about not being able to land a good joke with the town idiot, we know what we’re talking about when it comes to building a customized structure for whatever you want.
We’ll leave you with one of our funnier jokes that we tell around the shop all the time.
I have this great construction joke, but I’m still working on it … got to hammer out a few kinks and nail the delivery … just don’t want to screw it up.
Whoomp, there it is! Tag Team would be so proud of us right now.
