It’s almost that time of year again when you set your New Year’s resolutions and claim that you’re going to eat healthier. I don’t know about you, but that is not my strongest quality. My resolutions quickly dissolve before I even get through the full month of January.
It’s a shame, too. I throw out all of the good food in the house. Then, I spend a few hundred dollars on everything that is sugar-free, fat-free, and taste-free. Everyone in my family screams at me, but I scream back louder that I’m making everyone healthy. I’m doing it for THEM.
My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
I eat healthy for a solid 15 minutes. Veggies, plenty of water, the whole nine yards. However, the progress just isn’t there. My pants aren’t any looser, and the scale hasn’t budged. Not even an ounce. The audacity!
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
TV commercials really do us no favors. You see those juicy burgers, those perfectly salted fries, and it’s when you wish that Smell-o-Vision was a thing. You crave whatever food is on the TV. And if you’ve got a food delivery app, that food may be in your home within a few minutes. We live in a dangerous world, thanks to all of those apps and our inability to wait for anything.
We have our hands on one of those amazing burgers before we even remember that we’re on a diet and, therefore, not supposed to be eating it. No biggie. Cheat days exist, right? Sure, just not cheat days, cheat months, and cheat years.
How the hell are we supposed to follow a diet when those kinds of commercials are showing up in the middle of our TV shows?
That reminds me, with all of the holiday baking shows on TV, there’s a joke I’ve been holding onto for you.
Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef? He’ll dessert you.
Dieting is Not a Piece of Cake
There are a lot of things dieting is, including hard work and depressing. Unfortunately, all I can think about is what it is not. A piece of cake. A loaded baked potato. A plate of fresh-baked cookies.
Have you noticed that when you’re dieting, all you can focus on is what you can’t have?
Don’t make jokes about tofu right now, either. It’s tasteless.
The good news is that there are more cookbooks than ever that make it tasty to eat healthy. I’ve even started taking a liking to cauliflower rice!
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
With all the cooking and baking I’m doing, I’m thankful for a garage to store all of my extra kitchen gadgets. I have the room needed for all of the latest devices, allowing me to eat healthy while also making it fun to spend time in the kitchen.
My garage has shelving to hold my breadmaker, my Instapot, my ice cream maker, my fancy blender, and about half a dozen other small appliances that I absolutely had to have.
So, while dieting isn’t a piece of cake, it is possible to still have cake. It’s not sugary, and it’s not covered in buttercream, but it will do.
The Acceptable Weight
Want to know what my acceptable weight is? What I weigh right now, if I were six inches taller. See, it has nothing to do with the scale and everything to do with my inability to become taller.
The good news is that I’m still the acceptable weight to truly enjoy myself in Sherman Country. My barndo doesn’t care how much I weigh. I can spend as much time in it as I want. It will never become too tight or try to cut off my circulation.
It’s why I absolutely love my barndo, too. I worked with Sherman to ensure it was customized to all of my specifications. The steel building will hold up against all the elements, so I don’t have to worry about when it rains or snows, either.
Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.
Some sheds and barns and such do care about weight. Their wobbly plastic or wooden floors can only handle so much weight. It means you have to pay attention to the boxes, the machinery, and everything else that goes inside. Otherwise, you’ll start to hear creaks and whines and cracking.
Those sounds are never a good thing. Plus, it gives me anxiety. Is it my weight that’s creating those sounds? Was it me that finally caused something to exceed the weight limit? It couldn’t possibly be the weight of my fishing boat inside the barn. It has to be me, right?
Ugh. It’s best not to have to deal with weight.
The acceptable weight of a Sherman Pole Barn is whatever you want to store in it. That’s the beauty of a steel building. You focus on whether it will fit, and that’s it.
No more anxiety.
Life Is Too Short…
“Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks.” – Marilyn Wann
When you’re in Sherman Country, there are plenty of ways to get yourself into trouble when you’re on a diet. Don’t let that stop you. If your New Year’s resolution is to lose some weight, go for it. You may even want to consider building a barndo on your property so that it can be your home gym.
If you’re not good with losing weight or keeping your resolutions, we have a better option to consider.
Rather than force-feeding yourself celery sticks and carrots, consider a different resolution.
Focus on quality erections.
Allow me to be more specific. Focus on quality erections that allow you to have the kind of space you’ve always dreamed of. Build yourself a garage for storage. Whether you keep kitchen appliances or snowmobiles in it is up to you. Customize a barndo as a home gym, a microbrewery, or even a guest house so you can invite your friends to spend the night.
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
When you have a space that you can personalize, you can make your dreams come true. We promise we’ll help you with this resolution. If you want to eat healthier, we can share a cauliflower recipe, but that’s about it. So, let us do what we do best and talk to us about a pole barn.
