Make Sure That You Have An Inviting Shanty
Way out yonder in the…well, it doesn’t really matter where you’re from. If you like the country and living life to the fullest, you can be from Texas, Minnesota, or anywhere else. Welcome to my shanty!
It’s time to make sure that you have a redneck paradise. It can be a hole in the wall. No one’s judging you. Let people bring their cans of cheap beer or you can greet them all with a rocks glass of your homemade moonshine.
Jeff Foxworthy once said, “If your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand…you might be a redneck.”
Call me a redneck, then. Fireworks, whiskey, and some honkey tonk is my recipe for a good time.
So, you’ll need a shanty if you’re gonna create a redneck paradise of your own. Not sure where to get started? Hold my beer. I’ve got this one.
Build Your Backyard Paradise
If you build it, they will come. This might be one of the truest comments I’ve ever heard.
If you build a campfire in your backyard, rednecks will come. Your neighbors, your friends, and even random rednecks you ain’t never met before will be congregating in your backyard. Embrace it.
A campfire is basically a redneck nightclub. The beer’s a lot cheaper and the music is a lot twangier, though. And the name of the bouncer is Bubba, and he gets louder as the night goes on. The sooner you accept it all, the more fun you’ll have.
You have to think about your music choices, too. Obviously, it has to be country. However, it can come from Nashville, Kentucky, or in the backwoods of any state that has some western roots. You can choose old-school bluegrass all the way to the newer country pop.
Welcome To My Shanty
Whatever you decide to play, it has to be loud. If you’re really lucky, you’ve got some musically inclined friends. That’s when you may be able to enjoy some live music. And if you say that you’ve never wanted to learn the washtub bass or the banjo, we all know that you’re lying.
If you’ve recently caught something on a hunting trip, be sure you’re going to serve it up on the grill. It not only provides food for everyone but also a story. Don’t be shy about going into the details about how you had to hunt it down and slaughter it. If the remnants of the field dressing are still nearby, you can have a good old-fashioned display of show and tell.
Don’t judge. If you’re going to invite people over, you can’t judge them for what they’re wearing, what they’re drinking, or how they’re talking. No one’s uptight in a redneck paradise, so play it cool. You can always revoke their invite to stop by at a later date.
Your paradise doesn’t have to be anything fancy. In fact, it’s better when it’s not fancy. The best redneck décor has been repurposed from something else. That goes for the grill, the dinner plates, the drinking cups, the cooler, and anything else you’ll drag outside for everyone to use. Get creative. If you have to go to the store to buy something, you’re not thinking hard enough.
Dropping By: Proper Redneck Etiquette
Whether you’ve been invited to “drop by” someone’s house or you’re asking people to drop by, there’s some redneck etiquette that you’re supposed to follow.
Wait, there’s etiquette? Absolutely. Don’t assume that rednecks are classless. If you do that, you’re not getting invited to any more shanties.
First, you’ll want to establish the parameters of stopping by. Most rednecks offer some basic rules such as “after sunset” or “when you hear the music playing.” If you go outside of these times, you’re likely to get turned away.
BYOB isn’t a real thing in the redneck world. That’s for the sophisticated folk who drink bottles of wine. No one’s going to tell you to bring your own bottle of anything. Why? You’re probably not drinking anything out of the bottle.
Instead, bring your hooch in a red Solo cup. Stick a 12-pack of beer under your arm. Bring a jug of your latest batch of moonshine or whiskey. Don’t drink? You better be bringing some of the finest sweet tea east of the Mississippi with you, then.
Dressing for dropping by is up to you. There’s no need to get dressed in Sunday Best. Focus on comfort. Faded Dukes of Hazard t-shirts are always a favorite, though anything in a camouflage print will serve you well, too.
Finally, follow the lead of everyone around you. When you show up to someone’s shanty, don’t assume that you can spit tobacco into the backyard. Ask before you “take a leak” somewhere. And if there’s any other etiquette that you’re unsure of, be sure to blame someone else if you get caught.
You Might Be a Redneck…
It’s time to check yourself. Whether you know you’re a redneck, questioning your status, or looking to become one, you can figure it out with a trusty checklist. It doesn’t matter where you live. There are just as many rednecks in Northwest Wisconsin as there are in Texas. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to themselves.
– You’ve got hunting paraphernalia inside and outside of your home, regardless of hunting season.
– You’ve got cowboy boots and wear them with anything. That includes wearing boots with swimsuits.
– As soon as you buy a shirt, you cut off the sleeves because you like it better that way.
– You talk about your mama in various conversations. Give yourself bonus points if you still live with mama, too.
– When you get excited, you yell out “Hell yeah” because it’s the best phrase around.
– Nascar isn’t just a sport but a way of life.
– You don’t get offended if someone calls you a redneck but you feel the need to draw the line when someone throws around the word “hillbilly.”
If you’ve already gotten this far, you’re a redneck. It doesn’t matter whether you identify yourself as such to friends or not. Chances are, you haven’t been hiding it too well, and your friends already know exactly who you are.
Here’s the good news, though. As soon as you embrace your redneck lifestyle, you can start to have more fun.
Upgrade Your Shanty
Drive down any country road in Northwest Wisconsin, Western Texas, or anywhere else in the country and you’ll find a shanty. And, if you enter into Redneck Country, you’ll see rows and rows of them.
A shanty is usually a small, wooden shack. One strong gust of wind and the whole thing can be history. Otherwise, it’s going to rattle at least a few wooden boards.
Shanties are fine when you’re a redneck because you’re not into material things. As long as you’ve got a place to drape your Confederate Flag or distill your moonshine, it gets the job done.
Now, if you want to create a redneck paradise, you have to think about ways to upgrade. Forget about your standard shanty. If the wind blows, you don’t want to lose it all. That’s why Sherman Pole Buildings is here. It’s a chance for you to get a pole barn that can be a trustworthy shanty for you to have your redneck fun in and around.
Your steel building “shanty” can be built down by the river, along your favorite hunting trail in Minnesota, or even in your backyard. It can be used for storage, for throwing a party, or for creating some of your favorite slap-your-mama BBQ sauce.
These buildings are versatile, and you can build them as fancy as you want. No redneck will judge you for going with an upgraded shanty, especially if you outfit it with your favorite Americana memorabilia. After all, ‘Merica.
When you’re ready for more advice on how to embrace your redneck paradise with a pole barn, I’m right here. Y’all come back now, ya hear?