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Chuck Norris has a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of World Records
By Sherman Buildings
We've compiled a list of Chuck Norris facts that explain why we have chosen him as our celebrity spokesman. The only thing stronger than a Sherman Building is Chuck Norris.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tuqlMM7il8
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in shape.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.
In the Beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire.
When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.
Aliens are real. They are just hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk with his knee.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
If Chuck Norris was on The Titanic the iceberg would have dodged the ship.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
Chuck Norris went to visit The Virgin Islands. Now they're just called The Islands.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity - three times.
Chuck Norris is able to sketch your portrait using an eraser.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his Mother home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
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