We’ve compiled a list of Chuck Norris facts that explain why we have chosen him as our celebrity spokesman. The only thing stronger than a Sherman Building is Chuck Norris.

 

 

 

  • Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.

  • Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.

  • When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in shape.

  • Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.

  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.

  • In the Beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

 

 

Chuck Norris

 

 

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  • The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

  • Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  • Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

 

 

Chuck Norris

 

 

  • Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire.

  • When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.

  • Aliens are real. They are just hiding from Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

Chuck Norris

 

 

  • Chuck Norris wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk with his knee.

  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

  • Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

  • If Chuck Norris was on The Titanic the iceberg would have dodged the ship.

  • The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

 

Chuck Norris

 

 

  • Chuck Norris went to visit The Virgin Islands. Now they’re just called The Islands.

 

  • Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

  • It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

  • Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

  • Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

 

 

Chuck Norris

 

 

  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity – three times.

  • Chuck Norris is able to sketch your portrait using an eraser.

  • Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

  • Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

  • Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.

  • Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

  • Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

  • Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

  • When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him.

 

Chuck Norris

 

 

  • Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.

  • Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

  • Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.

  • If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

  • When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his Mother home from the hospital.

  • Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.

  • Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.